“Resolutions”

31.12.2016 – the last day of the year. It’s been an ok year, I’ve had both good and bad experiences, as one should have every year. I feel that I’ve made some positive changes in my life; I’ve grown spiritually and mentally, but at the same time I feel that I’ve been trapped at the same place for quite some time now. It’s like things isn’t really moving forwards, that I’m at the exact same place that I was a year ago.

As I am writing this it’s 90 minutes left of 2016, and it seems that everyone is planning their next year; goals, plans, ways to change their life, new year resolutions. I am not very good at the whole resolutions thing. One year ago I wrote I shall try to… 2016, where I made a list of things I wished to focus on in 2016.

Sing every day. Dance when I’m happy. Train as much as I feel like. Eat as much as I want. Do what makes me happy there and then. Fight my depression. Smile. Follow my heart. Look at the stars. Paint what I feel. Do something that scares me. Enjoy what I have. Cry. Savor smells. Read myself to sleep. Take care of myself. Blog. Tell the people I love that I love them. Draw. Speak my mind when something bothers me. Laugh. Write. Play. Love. Learn something new. Meditate. Listen to other peoples opinions – and take them into consideration. Get new friends (and of course keep my old ones too!). Spend time with those I love. Be myself. Get a new tattoo. Swim. Appreciate the days. Save some money. Travel. Take pictures. 

This was the list one year ago, and I’ve added to it in my book as the year has gone by. I think I’ve managed ok, there are things I wish I’d managed that I didn’t. I haven’t managed to save money, as I’ve been going in minus every bloody month, having to pay for two adults living expenses at my student loan… So there has been no traveling and no new tattoos, which I hope will change in 2017. In 6 months I’ll be done with my bachelors degree, and hopefully I’ll find myself a job and everything will get a little better. Money problems has been one of the big negatives of this year for me…

But I’ve had so many good things happen to me! I’ve gotten in contact with my friends from middle school and met up with them a few times, I’ve made many new friends, I’ve gotten better at playing both waldhorn and piano! I’ve been singing every day, I’ve danced (when no one’s watching), I’ve illustrated a book (!!!) and I’ve laughed with friends and told those I love that I love them!

So all these points will once again be my promises to myself, as they are all things that make me feel better. I also want to learn and be more active with my religion, and dare to be true to myself when I really just want to hide and be invisible. If people don’t like who I am, too bad for them! But I am sure that the people I love will love me just as much, or maybe even more, if I let myself free.

I also want to be more active. Not necessarily in the sports and training way, but going out with friends, take walks, go to game nights and parties! All of this will of course be easier with more money, but it doesn’t have to cost much either! I guess the most important thing for me in 2017 will be to stay positive and make the best of what life gives me. It’s not always easy, but I have a good feeling about next year, I am not exactly sure why, but I hope I am right.

Anyways, I just want to wish you all a blessed 2017! I hope 2017 will bring more peace and friendship to the world and that we will all find love and happiness in life.